Programming is like sex: one mistake and you’re providing support for a lifetime.
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live
The C programming language — a language which combines the flexibility of assembly language with the power of assembly language.
Any fool can use a computer. Many do.
To iterate is human, to recurse divine.
In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion.
Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Weeks of programming can save you hours of planning.
There are only two kinds of programming languages: those people always bitch about and those nobody uses.
The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert’s Symphony Number 9.
I’ve finally learned what ‘upward compatible’ means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes
There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don’t believe this to be a coincidence.
The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry.
No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience, the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.
The best method for accelerating a computer is the one that boosts it by 9.8 m/s2.
Without requirements or design, programming is the art of adding bugs to an empty text file.
Deleted code is debugged code.
Software is like sex: it’s better when it’s free.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Software and cathedrals are much the same – first we build them, then we pray
I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.
But it works on my machine!